My friend and fellow writer Nina Pelletier has daily writing prompts. Today, she wanted us to re-write a scene from a current work in progress, in which the characters are aware that they are part of a story, and they know who the writer is. Here is a scene from Antiquity Calais and the Children of Light, Volume I:
The conductor on board the Interdimensional Locomotive shouted, “We're coming up on your stop! You guys will need to depart the train on the fly!”
Mundoo, as the first by the door, prepared to go out, saying, “I can't believe that sick bastard Jim Henry is sending me back here!” With that, he took the plunge.
Gillian was next, and she said, “Oh my babies! I hope they're not out there! Jim! Hello! Are you there? What were you thinking?!”
Antiquity followed, saying, “If I get my hands on Jim Henry, I'm going to send HIM to this swirling vortex of death!” Everyone else departed silently, although there were a few silent prayers uttered before leaving the train.
Instinctively, everyone tried to gain altitude when they left the train, but even the mighty Mundoo was having trouble gaining height above the whirlpool. “Of course, Jim couldn't possibly make this any more difficult, could he? Are you listening to me Mr. Henry? You created a 20-foot-tall Algonquin god, and now he is not happy with you!”
Antiquity was fighting the incredible pulling power beneath him, and was aghast as he watched his Interdimensional Locomotive, and the conductor still on board, go sailing down into the great abyss below.
Suddenly, Antiquity remembered the time Jim had sent he and his friends into a volcano on the world of Egalatar, and he helped raise up Sherman, Mundoo, and Gillian, against the downward thrust that was controlling them then. And then he thought about the occasion when they were hovering above the mass of souls gathered in the first level of Heaven, known as the Rat Race. He remembered using the energy from Heaven to lift billions of trapped, recently deceased souls out of the Rat Race, and to escort them to the portal leading to the second level of Heaven.
Antiquity knew what he had to do.
It was difficult for Antiquity to maintain his focus, even with his eyes closed, but he knew it was imperative that he try. He attempted to tune out all distractions, and focus 100 percent of his attention to the task at hand. This proved to be a critical error, for if he had left at least the ability to hear partially turned on, he might have heard Gillian screaming that he was getting sucked into the vortex at the bottom of the whirling pit.
“Damn you Jim Henry! Now look what you've done! You are sending me to the 12th Dimension. How are you going to get us out of this fine mess?” Antiquity shouted, as he swirled down the drain into the cosmic prison.
The conductor on board the Interdimensional Locomotive shouted, “We're coming up on your stop! You guys will need to depart the train on the fly!”
Mundoo, as the first by the door, prepared to go out, saying, “I can't believe that sick bastard Jim Henry is sending me back here!” With that, he took the plunge.
Gillian was next, and she said, “Oh my babies! I hope they're not out there! Jim! Hello! Are you there? What were you thinking?!”
Antiquity followed, saying, “If I get my hands on Jim Henry, I'm going to send HIM to this swirling vortex of death!” Everyone else departed silently, although there were a few silent prayers uttered before leaving the train.
Instinctively, everyone tried to gain altitude when they left the train, but even the mighty Mundoo was having trouble gaining height above the whirlpool. “Of course, Jim couldn't possibly make this any more difficult, could he? Are you listening to me Mr. Henry? You created a 20-foot-tall Algonquin god, and now he is not happy with you!”
Antiquity was fighting the incredible pulling power beneath him, and was aghast as he watched his Interdimensional Locomotive, and the conductor still on board, go sailing down into the great abyss below.
Suddenly, Antiquity remembered the time Jim had sent he and his friends into a volcano on the world of Egalatar, and he helped raise up Sherman, Mundoo, and Gillian, against the downward thrust that was controlling them then. And then he thought about the occasion when they were hovering above the mass of souls gathered in the first level of Heaven, known as the Rat Race. He remembered using the energy from Heaven to lift billions of trapped, recently deceased souls out of the Rat Race, and to escort them to the portal leading to the second level of Heaven.
Antiquity knew what he had to do.
It was difficult for Antiquity to maintain his focus, even with his eyes closed, but he knew it was imperative that he try. He attempted to tune out all distractions, and focus 100 percent of his attention to the task at hand. This proved to be a critical error, for if he had left at least the ability to hear partially turned on, he might have heard Gillian screaming that he was getting sucked into the vortex at the bottom of the whirling pit.
“Damn you Jim Henry! Now look what you've done! You are sending me to the 12th Dimension. How are you going to get us out of this fine mess?” Antiquity shouted, as he swirled down the drain into the cosmic prison.
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